1. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt. |
2. Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. |
3. It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and what you're going to do. |
4. After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before. |
5. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard. |
6. When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves. |
7. If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it. |
8. Keep your boss's boss off your boss's back. |
9. Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour. |
10. To err is human, to forgive is not our policy. |
11. People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't. |
12. If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done. |
13. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried. |
14. When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?" |
15. No matter how much you do, you never do enough. |
16. The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong. |