Laws of Work


1. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.
2. Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
3. It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and what you're going to do.
4. After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
5. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
6. When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
7. If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
8. Keep your boss's boss off your boss's back.
9. Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.
10. To err is human, to forgive is not our policy.
11. People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.
12. If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
13. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
14. When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?"
15. No matter how much you do, you never do enough.
16. The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.



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