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1. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.
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2. Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
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3. It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and what you're going to do.
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4. After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
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5. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
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6. When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
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7. If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
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8. Keep your boss's boss off your boss's back.
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9. Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.
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10. To err is human, to forgive is not our policy.
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11. People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.
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12. If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
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13. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
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14. When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?"
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15. No matter how much you do, you never do enough.
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16. The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.
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