- I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather ...
Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
- Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.
- Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.
- I used to have an open mind but my brain kept falling out.
- I always wanted to be a procrastinator, never got around to it.
- I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
- Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
- Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
- I think - therefore I'm single.
- Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
- I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.
- I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
- Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
- As I said before, I never repeat myself!
- If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there,
is he still wrong?
- Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
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