- Constipated people don't give a shit.
- Practice safe sex, go fuck yourself.
- If you drink don't park, accidents cause people.
- Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
- If you don't believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut.
- Please tell your pants its not polite to point.
- If that phone was up your ass, maybe you could drive a little better.
- My kid got your honor roll student pregnant.
- To all you virgins: Thanks for nothing.
- If at first you don't succeed ... blame someone else and seek counseling.
- Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No Hard Feelings."
- If you can read this, I've lost my trailer.
- Horn broken ... watch for finger.
- It's not how you pick your nose, but where you put the booger.
- If you're not a hemorrhoid, get off my ass!
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